Mother. (Episode 28)

2 09 2016

Where I live the door to door callers either want to sell cheaper electricity, gas or broadband services, with the occasional person collecting for charity. Where my mother lives most of the callers want to fix her roof, clear her gutters, do her garden or tarmac the driveway. Some even want to clean her house.

I have a strict rule never to buy anything from door to door callers, although I will give something to those collecting for charities. I’ve tried to convert mother to my way of thinking but with various degrees of failure. She employed a cleaner for four hours once, the problem being that mother felt compelled to clean the house before the cleaner arrived, and then would spend two hours chatting to the cleaner over cups of tea.  Mother knew that she’d made a wrong decision when the cleaner started spraying her LED TV screen with Windolene. ‘They’re not supposed to do that are they?’ ‘Hrmmm. No mum. It damages the film coating protecting the screen’.

Then there was the man who came to clear her guttering. Whilst up on the roof he claimed that he had discovered that some of the concrete rendering had crumbled and offered to re-concrete it. Mother accepted. Within months the new concrete border had crumbled, thereby blocking the guttering and causing a leak. Mother then had to call a roofer to fix the leak.

Chancing his arm the same man came back about a year later offering the same service. My mother remembered him and started to complain, at which point the handyman  ran off, but not before snatching his leaflet back out from mothers hand. He clearly didn’t want her calling him after all.

More recently a door to door salesman installed a new door bell as the old one had lost its ring. When visiting mother recently, I had on more than one occasion responded to her door bell by answering it, but when I opened the front door there was no one there.  When I mentioned this to mother she casually remarked that there was something wrong with the new door chime. It only chimed when someone pressed her neighbours door bell. ‘Something to do with a cross wired Wi-Fi ‘, she explained.

Now anyone looking for mother has to bang on her window. But at least its put a stop to the door to door salesman. Honestly.

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