Trending Tuesday- There wasn’t a chair- Sherries Always Right.

21 09 2016

Stories have connected us to others since they were told through oral narrations around a campfire. It is with great pleasure that I connect you with… Trending Tuesday There Wasn’t a Chair — Sherrie’s Alw

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Friends with benefits – As I see it (by definition).

15 09 2016

definitions

As listed in Graham’s unofficial and less than concise dictionary :0)

Friends with benefits: People who are there when you need them, who will listen, support, and offer a cup of tea if required. (The cup of tea being the benefit).

It’s not you it’s me: What I say when I’ve been waiting in the doctor’s surgery for over an hour, it’s my turn, and some one else stands up.

It’s not me it’s you: What I say when some one lets their wind go and every one stares at me.

Cyber space: That place in everybody’s home where the car keys, phone, spectacles and wallet disappear to when you’re in a hurry and can’t find them.

Bye Felicia: Something I say when I’m saying goodbye to Felicia.

Snap Chat: The type of chats I have when I’m in a bad mood.

There’s Something About Mary: I overheard my local priest saying this to one of his parishioners.

World Wide Web: This is what happens when spiders of the world unite.

Search Engine: This is what I do when the car breaks down and I try to find the fault.

Deadpool: The pool at the end of my garden. There is so much Algae in it all possible life died long ago!

Conscious Uncoupling: This is when I disengage the trailer from the car – on purpose.

eBay: Right next door to D bay.

Free Wheelin: How I would describe the wheel that came away from the front of my car and went off in a different direction.

A Happy Meal: One that I can enjoy in peace.

A Big Mac: A rain coat that is one size too big for me.

Wrinklies: Synthetic clothes that I have put in the washing machine when it specifically states: “Dry clean only”

Getting Jiggy with it: What I do when I’m trying to put a pair of socks on that have shrunk in the wash.

Zigazigah: The sound I make when I’ve caught my finger in a zip and try to free it.

Yahoo: A sound a cowboy makes when trying to round-up cattle.

A calorie counter: A counter with loads of cakes on it.

Smart phone: A neat and tidy phone that I can make phone calls on.

Tablet: I take these when I have a headache.

Chill: I feel this when I turn the heating off and stick my head in the fridge.

Sick: How I feel when I come down with the flu.

Sick note: When I come down with the flu and sing this is how the notes sound.

Deadly: Anything that could kill you.

LOL: Half of a lollipop. Can I have the other half back please?

AIBU: How Abraham, who is dyslexic, spells his name.

Twitter: I hear this early morning when the dawn chorus breaks.

New and improved recipe: The same recipe but with a new label.

How many hits?: A boxer tends to ask this after the fight.

Spotify: Magnified acne.

Download: When I’m carrying something heavy and I need a rest this is what I do.

Pop Socks: A name I have given the socks my father wears.

Spanks: We used to receive these as children for misbehaving.

Jogging: The nudge with my elbow I give to my mother when she has fallen asleep in the cinema.

50 Shades of Grey: A battle ship.

50 shades darker: The water that surrounds it.

Breaking news: News about someone who has broken something. Usually my son.

Dot Com: The woman who lives down the street. She has a sister –in-law named Dot Cotton.

BOGOF: Something I say to someone who is annoying me.

Check this out: This is what I do when I buy something, the cashier scans it and I pay for it.

Take a chill pill: Time to take another Valium.

Politically correct: When a politician says what people want to hear but doesn’t believe a word of what he/she is saying.

I’ll be in touch: Said by someone who won’t be in touch. They are usually good friends with ‘I’ll let you know’.

She’s fit: What I will say about a woman who goes to the gym a lot.

Please hold,  your call is important to us: You have plenty of time to redecorate the house.

You’ve got mail: The postman has just arrived.

The End: Well it is unless this blog becomes so successful that I have to make a sequel. But of course, if I do, it won’t be as good as this one.

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Recommended blogs to follow from Mliae – :0)

14 09 2016

Featured Image -- 725

Great recommendations for blogs to follow as recommended by Mliae. Follow the link.

https://alienatednation.wordpress.com/2016/09/14/blogroll/

Nb: Great Mliae. Thank you for the recommendations. :o)





Blogroll- Recommended blogs to follow- From Mliae

14 09 2016

Featured Image -- 725

Great recommendations for blogs to follow as recommended by Mliae. Follow the link.

https://alienatednation.wordpress.com/2016/09/14/blogroll/

Nb: Great Mliae. Thank you for the recommendations. :o)

lifexperimentblog

I had to do it. This is my first blogroll, so I hope I’m going about it correctly. With so many blogs coming and going these days, I thought maybe I should share a few of my reliable favorites which publish good content and have been around for awhile.

The Millionaires Digest These people really know how to amp up my reader! Filled with awesome, relevant articles for bloggers, events & some fun stuff to read too!

Chape Personal Trainer I have David to thank for my recent body transition this year. He’s an awesome trainer and a great friend 🙂 So I stalk this blog for new things to try.

Leanna’s Creative Box Leenna is a super writer and an absolute blast!  Her published short stories will suck you right in. Believe it! 😉

A Cooking Pot and Twisted Tales Jacqueline is just awesome 🙂 She is regularly throwing…

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Gone Fishing…

13 09 2016

 

fishing

Back in a couple of days……… :0)

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Rememberance day.

11 09 2016

america

Remembering 9/11. To those we do know and to those we don’t know. Thinking of you all on this remembrance day.

america-3

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Mother – 39

11 09 2016

garden

Whatever you do, don’t ask mother about gardeners. She’s had plenty of them through out the years.

There was the nervous gardener. Would never say when he was coming, would suddenly show up and start work – and mother would only know he was there if she spotted him through the window. Or when he came to ask for payment. He then vanished for good.

Then there was the professional gardener. A small lady with a big hat pulled down over her eyelids that would charge by the hour and take ages to do any job. Mother felt tired just watching her as she struggled to push an electric lawnmower across the lawn. Mother worked out that it was costing her about 20 pence per. blade of grass, she was that slow. The professional gardener was politely let go of.

Then there was the gardener with the bad back. (Bad back?).
He frequently cancelled appointments due to (you guessed it), his bad back.
Mother witnessed him being carried off from the next door neighbours lawn a few weeks ago by two strangers, lifted into his van groaning, hands still gripping his hedge trimmer. He was politely let go of. (And hopefully he let go of the hedge trimmer eventually). As mother said, ‘Fancy doing gardening when you have a bad back’.

Then there was the Texas Chain Saw massacre duo who would only allocate half an hour to each customers garden. I was at mother’s house once when they invaded it, chain saw and lawnmower already running as they charged amok all over the place, chopping down branches and tunnelling out weeds. I fled to the safety of mothers living room and peered out from behind the curtains, imagining what I might look like if I’d gotten in their way. They always refused a cup of tea, always left something behind, and always left mothers garden looking like a hurricane had swept through it.

Wildlife and the frequent cat visitors weren’t seen for days afterwards and an eventual returning dawn chorus sounded more like a nervous titter.

They didn’t return either. Mother had to politely get rid of them (By phone, well away from any dangerous machinery), as they were making her, me and the neighbours a nervous wreck.

At present mother doesn’t have a gardener. Know of anyone?

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