Mother. (Episode 10).

17 08 2016

Things I didn't know about my mother. (Part Eight).I’m not sure what it is about Skype but we always end up laughing when we are using it. Just the notification sound indicating that some one is calling me (Usually Mother), is odd. A sort of bloop bloop bloop sound followed by a tremendous sigh if I don’t answer in time. Once connected I usually get a fantastic view of the top of my mothers head, behind which are about 20 handbags hung on a rail attached to a cupboard door. My mothers view of me is a bog standard black and white portrait photograph. I refuse to have a camera. The thought of having to get properly dressed, comb my hair etc before making a call put an end to that idea. Far too much effort. My mother will usually speak first saying ‘Hallo’ about five times before bursting into laughter and declaring that she sounds like a parrot. (Its the feedback). Then I’ll ask her how she is getting on, which is usually echoed back about four times. Then mother will start to answer, lose her voice because she hasn’t spoken to any body for a while, then cough profusely. I’ll suggest she has a sip of water and she’ll reply that she needs something stronger than that, and then we’ll both start laughing.Perhaps its just the circumstances that make the conversations so funny. Both of us sitting at our computers talking into microphones as our voices fade, distort,echo or overlap – the overlapping causing the most confusion as we’ll both ask what the other one has just said at exactly the same time, the same question repeated over and over again until we finally get the timing right and stop interrupting each other. But at least the call is free, and we’ll always end up happier at the end of the call than at the beginning of it. And it sets my mood up for the rest of the day. There is nothing funnier than mother trying to get to grips with technology, the ensuing confusion, her declaration that it is all a load of rubbish and that she is throwing the computer in the bin tomorrow, and the flashbacks about the different situations that cause me to laugh out loud at the most inappropriate of times. The dentist surgery, the shopping centre and a wedding ceremony have all borne witness to my rather manic chortles in recent weeks.



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