My Mother – 17.

9 08 2016

Things I didn't know about my mother. (Part 17)Whenever mother has to go into hospital, which isn’t often thank goodness, it’s always been a case of carry on regardless on her part.
As is the fashion now with all those ‘keep calm and carry on’ cards, I have often thought about designing one which reads ‘Keep calm and pretend it isn’t happening.’
Who knows perhaps one already exists, in which case I would give it to mother along with a box of those M@S Florentines she is particularly fond of.
Anyway last year mother had to go in for a hip replacement. As is always the case, mother kept calm, unpacked her dressing gown and slippers, and was soon settled into her hospital bed.
Not long after a Philippine nurse arrived, drew an arrow pointing upwards on mothers arm, both nodding and smiling at each other as it happened, the nurse then leaving and taking her felt tip pen with her.
Subsequent visitors remarked on the arrow, with mother explaining that it was there because she was going to have a head replacement, followed by one of her insane laughs that always resulted in her teeth oozing from between her saliva rich lips. Someone else suggested that perhaps it was there to inform the surgeons about which way was up. Either way the arrow caused much merriment. Even I smiled, although through quivering cheeks as I couldn’t wait to bring the ominous arrow to the attention of a doctor, which I did. It transpired that mother had been mistakenly marked up for a shoulder replacement. Heaven knows what would have happened if I hadn’t mentioned it. Mother of course just laughed.
But that’s mother for you – trusting both doctors and nurses on the basis that they have trained for many years and know what they are doing.
Having disproved mother’s theory the nurse drew a new arrow pointing downwards towards mother’s hip, and soon after mother had her intended hip replacement with out further complications.
Her resulting quick recovery meant that she could have visitors again the next day, the first being her best friends, Joan and Eileen. Delighted to see mother sitting up, drinking tea and tut tutting at ‘Loose Women’, as is her way, they tut tutted with her. Tut tuts soon turned to belly laughs when mother had finally absorbed her best friends bizarre appearance. “Whatever? All my gawd”.
“We were told we had to wear them”.
‘What a surgeon’s hat, a mask and a gown?” Whatever do they think you are going to catch?”
More laughter, this time of the hysterical kind, followed by a huge collective sigh of relief – relief because despite everything mother had been through she was showing no signs of diminishing eccentricity.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: