Things I didn’t know about my mother. (Part 18)

23 08 2012

I was looking for a tiny screw driver for a tiny screw. In mothers side board are three boxes containing all those items that don’t really belong any where else – empty electric air freshener units, pens, playing cards, pins, safety pins and Christmas cracker novelties amongst other things. It’s a gamble which box I’ll find the mini screw driver in so I take the plunge and remove the blue box. The first thing I discover is a miniature violin which as I remember mother had purchased in Venice many years ago. Eventually I find the mini screw driver and delighted that I don’t have to plough through any more boxes I close the lid and try to place the box back where I found it. Mother doesn’t like a mess as I’ve learnt through the years so better to tidy up as I go along. However it turns out to be a lot harder trying to put the box back where I found it than it was removing it. As much as I try it just won’t go back in again, flush with the shelf. If it’s not flush with the shelf the door won’t close and mother will soon notice. Eventually I give up, remove the box again, at which stage mothers cat jumps out with a slightly flatter nose than before and a meow of indignation. Mother’s cat is an opportunist. New clothes immediately become a bed the minute they are removed from the bag, vacant sofa seats must be occupied the minute somebody leaves them – this triumph of occupation celebrated by a totally thorough licking session of all limbs and crevices, fur balls flying in all directions as he completes the exercise. Any food left unguarded will be immediately devoured as was the case when the door bell rang and mother put her dinner plate down in order to answer it. Her return was met with an empty plate and her cat stretching his tongue as far as it would go in order to lick the top of his nose clean. He also has a passion for Swiss Roll! Mother’s cat went missing once, and we searched up and down the road looking for him. Even I began to feel a bit desperate after a good half hour of searching. Tom always responds to a call but didn’t this time. I feared he may have been run over as so many other cats in mothers neighbourhood had been. Anyway we left the front door open, and pretended to watch television whilst I speculated about how mother would cope without a cat. He’d lived in mother’s house for over 18 years after all and would surely be a huge loss if he didn’t come back again. And then I heard a scratching sound from mothers clothes cupboard- opened the doors, and out popped Tom leaving a huge ring of fur behind him on top of mother’s suitcase. He gave an indignant meow, barged through my legs, and went to comfort feed in mothers fitted kitchen. With the panic over I used the mini screw driver to straighten up and tighten the hinges on mother’s doors and satisfied with my endeavours called mother over to come and have a look. Without the merest glance at my handy man work she wailed, ‘Didn’t you see him go in there’?

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